This Sunday, Pastor Matt delivered a powerful and deeply personal message on reconciliation, rooted in the letter of Paul to Philemon. He opened with a candid story about his own strained relationship with his sister—a relationship marked by tension, distance, and eventually, a moment of tearful forgiveness. What started as a message about family struggles quickly grew into a broader call for all of us to reflect on the state of our hearts and our willingness to pursue reconciliation with those we’re in conflict with.
Paul’s letter to Philemon is short, but it’s a masterclass in gospel-centered reconciliation. Onesimus, a runaway slave, encounters Paul and becomes a believer. Rather than fueling the fire between Onesimus and his former master, Paul serves as a peacemaker. He sends Onesimus back—not with condemnation, but with a letter urging Philemon to receive him not as a servant, but as a beloved brother. Pastor Matt used this triangle—Paul, Onesimus, and Philemon—to show us how reconciliation involves three key roles: the peacemaker, the new believer stepping into faith-fueled obedience, and the mature believer embodying gospel grace.
What stands out in Paul’s approach is his refusal to participate in the “triangle of drama.” Instead of taking sides or casting judgment, he redirects the conversation to the cross. He reminds both men of their shared identity in Christ and challenges them to embody the reconciliation they’ve received. Pastor Matt emphasized that real reconciliation can’t happen unless we’ve first been reconciled to God. Only then can we find the strength to let go of judgment, embrace peace, and take a step toward healing.
For Onesimus, this meant risking vulnerability. He returned to face the one he’d wronged, letter in hand, walking in the uncomfortable grace of confession and forgiveness. For Philemon, it meant letting go of his rights and social expectations, and instead choosing mercy and restoration. Pastor Matt challenged us to see where we are in that triangle. Are we avoiding someone we need to reconcile with? Are we holding onto anger that’s poisoning our peace? Or are we called to be the Paul in someone else’s conflict—pointing them back to Jesus?
As we shared communion, Pastor Matt offered a sobering reminder: we should not partake in remembering Christ’s reconciliation on the cross while actively refusing to pursue reconciliation with those around us. Communion is a moment of unity, not division. And reconciliation is not optional for the believer—it is the very essence of the gospel we proclaim. This week, let’s allow the Spirit to search our hearts and lead us into the hard but holy work of being peacemakers.
Discussion Questions
- In what ways can you relate to Pastor Matt’s story about his sister? Are there relationships in your life where reconciliation still needs to happen?
- How does understanding your own reconciliation with God through Christ impact how you approach conflict with others?
- Which role in the Philemon triangle do you find yourself in right now—Paul, Onesimus, or Philemon—and why?
- What does it look like, practically, to stop participating in the “triangle of drama” and instead pursue gospel-centered reconciliation?
- What step is God calling you to take this week in a strained relationship—to confess, to forgive, or to help others reconcile?
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